Why didn’t he just contact the American Embassy in the first place?

I have been working on this for over two months now, possibly longer. But he never wanted to listen when I told him what needed to be done on his part in order to obtain daughter’s passport. He emails to tell me that he has an appointment with the American Embassy on May 26th in order to get the paperwork done that is needed. I sure hope it is the correct paperwork and something that the passport agency will accept.

This has been so frustrating to say the least and I no longer have words regarding the subject. I feel like I am a parent telling a child step by step on how to get something done and they refuse to listen. I’m just going to wait until next week to see what happens.

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Greek Law vs. American Law

I had lived in Greece for many years and had grown accustomed to their way of life. I have had my share of problems when it comes to Greek law, so I know it quite well. I think the most important thing to remember when living overseas is that you have to go by the law in the country where you are at at the time; whether you are living there or even if you are only visiting. The same goes for obtaining any legal documentation needed from that country, one must go by their laws. It is common sense to most but not everyone understands that.

So why does he continue telling me that I don’t understand the difference between Greek Law and American Law? Does he not remember all I went through while I was living there when trying to obtain the necessary paperwork in order to be there legally? If the truth be known, I wasn’t even living there legally. The only thing that kept me from being deported from that country was the fact that my daughter was born from a Greek national.  Before that I had to travel back and forth every three months to keep an updated stamp in my passport to break-up the time I spent in that country.

He emails me again but only to start up shit…

“What the American legal system requires is no concern of the Greek legal system.

And vice versa, so American law is all that matters here since I am trying to obtain an American passport. What is so hard to understand about that?  What part of that doesn’t he understand?! So I told him…” Maybe if you would listen instead of being so rude by talking over people when they are trying to explain, you wouldn’t have had to waste your time over the last few weeks getting the run around. I already told you what needs to be done. I told you repeatedly over the last two months and still you are trying to figure it out? What will it take for you to listen?”

 I guess that must have pissed him off because he emails back and says, “I am actually surprised that after living in Greece for eight years you do not realize that Greece is a totally different country than USA.”

 OK, now he’s just being a big asshole!

He continues… “Because I realize that and you do not, I have already contacted the united states of America embassy in Athens requesting information and guidance regarding this case in an effort to find a common ground for the two legal systems!”

At that point, I gave up. I don’t see what the purpose is to continue talking with someone who doesn’t listen in the first place. I’m done.

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Use as intended

I am still so upset. I just couldn’t write this even over the weekend. I knew that if I would have, I would have used so much profanity and that wouldn’t have been a pretty site.

Use as intended??!!!! How can I use as intended when it isn’t even the correct document needed in order to obtain daughter’s passport??!!!! What the hell am I going to use this for??!! I’m not changing my last name and I sure in the hell am not getting re-married!!!

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself here; I should start from Friday morning when I received an email from DD’s father. The subject title was “Use as intended”. When I saw that, I thought to myself what else am I going to use it for?  He said the translation was done and had the attachment in the email. When I opened it, I found our dissolution of Marriage all translated into English. Thinking that the Custody Court Order was at the end of the document, I read it all. During the time I was reading, I noticed The Hague stamp was stamped on every page. I then begin thinking to myself, why would this stamp be on a dissolution of marriage? When I got to the end of the document, there was nothing more. What does he expect me to do with this?!!! This in no way can be used to show I have sole custody of our daughter.

Being as upset as I was, I took a break before replying to his email. I kept it short and asked him where the custody document was that I had been waiting for. I never received a reply from him all day, which left me quite upset.

When daughter texted me she was home from school, I told her to go on line to see if her father was on and if he was to tell him I needed to speak with him via skype. A little while later, she texted back only to tell me that he had just replied to my email. I quickly looked to see his reply “According to Greek Law it stands as valid proof of you being the sole caretaker of our daughter.”

I did not reply as it was now clear he still doesn’t understand what is required by American Law in order to obtain an American passport.

Once I arrived home, he was already up on Skype and I began asking him about the paperwork. He went into detail about Greek Law as though I were a student and he was the teacher. He was very aggressive even more so then before. If you have ever been in a one sided conversation with a person yelling, then you have a pretty good idea how it went.

I tried to get a word in but it was very difficult. I told him that Greek Law has nothing to do with American Law, especially since I am trying obtain an American passport. He refused to listen and I even tried to explain to him that all I needed was the form (basically a permission slip) to be signed and notarized at the American Embassy. He said he was not an American so he was not allowed to sign the American document. I explained that he is not an American but his daughter is and that is why they are there to notarize American documents. He kept on yelling about his job, how late it was and I didn’t know what I was talking about. So my last words to him were “I just want to let you know that she will not be going.” And then I walked away.

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Mom…

I just wanted to tell you that it has been four years since you’ve been gone. This year in particular has been spent in thoughts of you. It is said that it is easier as time goes by and that the pain slowly fades but whoever said that has no idea what they are talking about. This year in particular brought back all the memories as though it were only yesterday.

Every year when Easter rolls around and the Easter candy appears on shelves in the store, I think about you. Four years ago when you decided to let go, I spent that week living on Easter Candy and water, okay and maybe a little beer as well. We spent time going through all your belongings you left behind and I couldn’t help but wonder what you had been up to behind my back by organizing all the photos for each one of us kids. It was like you knew you would be leaving soon.

I’m sorry that I kept you in the rehabilitation nursing center but what you didn’t realize at the time was that it was for your own good. We were hoping you would gain the strength back in your legs so that we would be able to care for you better once we brought you home. You didn’t have to curse me every day telling me you wanted to go home. I already knew that.  I have to hand it to you; you were smart by getting stubborn and no longer cooperating with your physical therapist so that we would take you home sooner. I know you over heard me talking with the physical therapist which gave you the idea in the first place.

The day we brought you home, you just about ran to your apartment door. You were like a child running to a candy store. We could not believe how well you did with your walker and on that day, we started questioning if you could do it all along and were just giving us a hard time for years. I knew you wanted to go home to die but I was delaying it. If the truth be known, we honestly didn’t know if we could have handle caring for you because of the disease you had. We wanted to do it on our own and not let hospice get involved. The doctor’s warned us but you know how stubborn I can be.

The next morning after bringing you home, you passed in your sleep. I tried to revive you as your body was still warm, but that didn’t work. When the paramedics arrived and wanted to try, we stopped them knowing that your heart and brain had already been through enough. It was time to let you go. You looked so peaceful in such a way that we had never seen you look before. And let me tell you, when you went, you went. There was no sign of your spirit around anywhere. You were in a hurry to go and that you did.

We gave you the perfect funeral you wanted and thank you for writing it all down for us. It was a beautiful service and the best funeral anyone could have asked for. There was not one tear shed by anyone who attended. You would have been proud. On your coffin, we had the words embroidered that said “Let the work I have done speak for me”.  I dressed you in Lavender and the flowers on your coffin and all around you were your favorite – Lavender Carnations.

We walked behind the car that carried you all the way to your grave site. It was a beautiful day. You were now in peace and it could be felt by everyone.  We decided that we would be the ones to carry your coffin the rest of the way. So me, your two sons, your adopted son and my three nieces all had the privilege. We also all dressed in Lavender in honor of you.

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Update on Hague holdup

Well, my daughter was just informed that there was a Hague stamp that had to be on the paperwork and according to her father; he was getting the run around. He began explaining to her but before he started, she hit record on her phone as she knew he would go into lengthy detail. After he was done, he told her to be sure and let me know. She then came over to me with phone in hand and let me hear the recording of his explanation.

He went on and on about all the offices he had to go to from first getting the correct paperwork to obtaining that much needed stamp. It sounded almost never ending. Apparently, he had to return to his hometown a few times over the last three weeks, just to get this all done. At least it seems like he really wants her to go.

I am so relieved to find out it was only a stamp that was needed on the custody paperwork. That does make sense after reading on the Hague site and one of the reasons I stated in my previous blog post.

The document has been submitted for translation which should only take about three days.

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The Hague Convention hold up

He hasn’t been keeping me updated regarding the status of the paperwork, but he has been texting our daughter and updating her. Yesterday she showed me a text from him that was sent a couple of days ago. It stated there was a Hague hold up. She not knowing what that meant and not thinking it was important, she never bothered to question him. As soon as I read the text, I knew this was going to take much longer than expected.  I just don’t understand why he would need to go by The Hague Convention when he was only obtaining a copy of court order that would only be sent to me?  I guess it’s possible that someone may have told him that this needed to be done. But I can’t help but wonder if there is something more behind this

For those of you who do not know what The Hague Convention is, it has to do with International Law regarding the agreements between countries regarding children.  Maybe he is going this route because he will be sending the court ordered custody paperwork to me and perhaps they told him something had to accompany it such as a form or special seal. I have emailed him to question why this had to be done, but he has not replied. Here are two possible reasons why he may have decided to do this besides what I just mentioned;

The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is the main international agreement that covers international parental child abduction. It provides a process through which a parent can seek to have their child returned to their home country.

The Hague Convention also deals with issues of international child access. When a parent or guardian lives in a different country to the home country of their child, it may be hard to work out access to them.

I am little concerned about the first one because Greece is her home country and always will be. Even though she has dual citizenship, I have no idea how that would come into play at this point. I am just going to wait and see what he says or if he says anything at all.

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A week extension…really??

What is another week going to do?  Is it really going to help them come to an agreement? I doubt it. I bet they got the approval for their one week extension all because they didn’t want to spend the entire weekend working.  I wish the Government would just stop messing with my plans.  Why can’t they just get their shit together and figure out a budget already or give us a another continuing resolution until the end of the fiscal year already!!!

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